Comments on: Anticipation

By: Don

Don — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 21:13:09 +0000

Love your dad’s advice!

By: TwilightSpider

TwilightSpider — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 18:23:56 +0000

I completely understand the tendancy to create anxiety out of anticipation – but pushing through it and trying to anticipate more pleasant things (instead or in addition) is really worth it. You’d be surprised how liberating it is just to give yourself a little break. Every tiny effort helps.

By: Kerstin

Kerstin — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 02:55:09 +0000

That photo could come straight out of one of my nightmares. I grew up in Germany where there aren’t any tornados, yet this storm occupied my childhood fears for the longest time.

I can relate to a lot you talk about in this post; especially the bit about worry being a talisman protecting you. It makes no sense at all, of course, but I totally get that. To me it’s also about not wanting to be “caught out” when a bad thing happens, as though it will be easier to cope if I am “prepared”. Not sure if that’s true though, and as your dad says, 99.9% of the stuff we worry about never happens.

I also get the heart racing, or palpitations as I call them. Have had them since the age of 14 when I drove myself crazy with anxiety because I was convinced that I had a serious heart condition. Which I kept from everyone until I had a nervous breakdown at 17 and my heart was tested and it was fine. Psychosomatic was the diagnosis. Doesn’t make it any less unpleasant and scary.

I once read an interesting article in the Oprah magazine about a woman whose fears literally locked her into her home, in an attempt to avoid all experiences that might cause her unpleasant feelings of anxiety, thus paralizing her life. The gist of the story was to make choices based on attraction instead of aversion, love instead of fear. In other words: get on a plane not because you are convinced it won’t crash, but because meeting your friends or family is worth a few hours of terror.

Take care,
Kerstin

By: ms_teacher

ms_teacher — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:36:41 +0000

my youngest suffers from anxiety – it got so bad two years ago, that he was refusing to go to school. My medical provider is Kaiser and they have this great program that we went through to help my son deal with his anxiety. You can search for information by going to google and typing in “Dr. Fear.” He has books that I think may prove useful. His workshop is for both children and adults.

My youngest is currently on a very small dose of prozac (10mg), which has also helped. However, we really had to work him through not worring so much about the “what ifs.” If you ever need to talk to someone whose been on the other side of this, I hope you know you can e-mail me. (Also, interesting family history, both my sister and my mom suffer from anxiety as well. This is usually something that runs in families.)

By: desert rat

desert rat — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 16:33:35 +0000

You may have lost the feeling of joyful anticipation, but the great thing about all lost things, is that they can always be found again. It’s out there somewhere, waiting for you. I grew up in a beautiful garden ripe with hidden landmines, so I know all about the anticipation of danger, always lurking in the corner, no matter how wonderful things seem. But I guess somewhere in my DNA I also inherited the eternal optimist gene, so no matter how dark things get, how deep the pit seems, there’s always a glint, a spark, somewhere out there that I can reach for. Keep reaching.

By: Bruja Bella

Bruja Bella — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 15:54:54 +0000

I understand this. I too anticipate in the “wrong” direction. I place worry on top of worry and before you know it I’m half way down the road, freaking out over something that hasn’t even happened yet, and may never happen. I had this thought in my car the other day – I worry and anticipate pain and misery so I have something to concentrate on, so I can avoid actually living life. Oh, and why don’t I anticipate wonderful things and go halfway down THAT road? I just don’t. So I get nervous and have anxiety attacks over nothing at all. Some days I think about this old lady I saw sitting on a fence outside her house. When faced with misery and worry and anxiety I think to myself, when I am that old lady sitting on the fence, is this actually going to matter to me? I doubt it. It will all be part of the rich tapestry of my life. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t.

Happy holidays to you.

By: Kamsin

Kamsin — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 14:33:45 +0000

Perhaps one definition of depression is that we are no longer able to anticipate good things happening and a light at the end of our particular tunnel. But as I read on a blog somewhere today ‘It is always darkest just before dawn’. I agree with what papyrus wrote, I sincerely hope and pray that you can find your way into your Creator’s loving arms. I also hope that the medication helps if that is what you need to balance out the brain chemicals again. Remember , you are loved and nothing is ever quite as bad as our fear of it makes it seem.

By: papyrus

papyrus — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 04:42:39 +0000

Here’s hoping you can bring your anticipation into more positive spheres. For me I feel it begins with trusting in God. Yes, our world is in a mess. But you know he anticipated this. And that’s why he came to do something about it. I read this phrase sometime last week and it’s been accompanying me ever since. I hope it helps you.

When creation groans and crops fail,
or chldren are born crippled,
we are forced back on the lamb slain,
before the creation of the world;
we are forced back into the everlasting arms of a God
who chose to create because he knew
he had the power to redeem whatever creation should come to.