Photo by: SJ Photography

I’ve been looking through my archives in an effort to find the highlights of 2007. What I found, for the most part, is the realization that my job, although at times fulfilling, is pretty depressing. But other things are good! For example:

I found those drunken mutterings of Sky’s hateful probation officer on MySpace and got him away from her. That was a hoot.

Sky got off probation without incident and started college. He has been living successfully on his own and is beginning to learn more about what he wants in life. Right now, he is in San Diego at a hostel, meeting all kinds of interesting international types.

I got a high paying tutoring job that enables me to take my son to the library two days a week after school and basically earn money for being there.

I learned how to make some money blogging. I’m getting better at it each day.

I moved out of the ghetto apartments and live in the “luxury” apartments in town. It’s quite nice, actually.

Sage has progressed so much, especially in reading. He is such a smart kid, especially in that way that no one measures…the way that has him up at night contemplating how the universe is constructed.

I get along well with my ex-husband now. He participates in our lives, and even pays child support, although there is no way he would ever be legally obligated to do so, and I never asked for it. I wonder if I am the only person in the whole world in this situation, since I’ve never heard of a step-father paying child support before.

I do some good things at work, like teaching the kids how to crochet and relating to them in a way that has them seeking my help with their situations. This makes me feel better about not being able to teach them very much about much of anything else–a frustration.

I (finally!!!!) got a Kitchenaid mixer for Christmas! It’s red, and I’ve made some yummy pizza crust and biscuits with it so far.

I especially want to say Happy New Year to Deborah, Margaret, Tonya, Chris, Ken and Mary. It means the world to me that you guys continue to come around here and listen to my rants, crises, dreams and exhilarations. I hope you all have a wonderful 2008.

From Unconscious Mutterings. Because I was bored. And I like them.
I’ve done two for good measure.

1. Interview :: Job
2. Army :: Depressed
3. Unwrap :: Gift
4. Evolve :: Become
5. Bus :: Stop
6. The real thing :: Barbie
7. Streak :: College
8. Gorge :: Rio Grande
9. Spicy :: Jalepenos
10. Course :: Meal

1. Health :: benefits
2. Tacky :: Hawaiian shirts
3. Heels :: hurt
4. Yay! :: No Way!
5. Model :: clay
6. Gather :: blessings
7. Best gift ever :: child
8. Clients :: cheap
9. Stomp :: dance
10. Clothing :: unique

Like you all need any more glimpses into my mind…

Man do I hate anxiety. There are many reasons to hate it, but today I hate it because I found out the cost of my anxiety-driven ER visit over Thanksgiving. After insurance, I will be paying over $800. That sucks.

The good part is they found a drug (Ativan) that seems to keep it in check a bit better. But $800???? I really wish my regular doc could have come up with that solution instead of the one in the ER. Man….

I suppose I should be thankful that I’ve made that much writing this month. On the other hand, it feels like I’m spinning my wheels. I guess it’s better to spin my wheels though, instead of sinking into the mire!

Every time I get a break from teaching, I redouble my efforts to make money online. I’m doing pretty good so far, although it’s only a living wage if I move to Mexico or somewhere very inexpensive. Here’s what I’ve been investigating today: Squidoo. I have a half-finished lens on there that I haven’t done anything with. Technically, I know what to do, and I know how to work the affiliate code thing…I just haven’t done it. Perhaps because I don’t feel like much of an expert in anything. Ideas?

I hope everyone has had a good one by now. I know I have, once I got over the stress of it being Christmas in the first place. I’m just jotting a short note for now. Sage got an awesome scooter, my parents loved the photo book I made for them over at Shutterfly, and I’m posting a photo of what I finally got tomorrow! Let’s just say I’ll be cooking more….

My situation right now feels like something out of a science fiction novel. You see, I live in a largest apartment complex in town. It is gated, and is very quiet. Last night, Sage and I were watching Home Alone, and then left the apartment to go have dinner with friends. As we walked out the door, I noticed it was dark, which was nothing new. The weird thing was that ALL of the windows in the complex (except two) were dark. No one was home. Everyone has left for the holidays. This is not unusual, since there are quite a few students and professors who live here. Still, it feels weird.

Last night, I was imagining that I was living in a post-apocalyptic world, only with electricity I suppose, living in the basement of a huge abandoned building. It really does feel weird for this huge structure and those around it not to have anyone in it…

I did a good job creeping myself out.

So I’m reading this book–Wish I Could Be There, which is about a guy who is 57 years old and has had to deal with a mild form of agoraphobia all of his life.

The back cover has recommendations from both an autistic man and a Nobel literature prize winner, who could both relate. This made me feel as though I was in good company. However, I got about two chapters into the book, which describes panic attacks in excruciating detail, and had to go take a Xanax, so there’s that. Maybe that’s the reason that even though it is a fairly new book, it is already selling for $4.95 on Amazon. Maybe I should buy a whole bunch of copies and send them to everyone I know. He explains the pain of it well.

They say that in order to really achieve something, you need to be able to visualize it. At the moment, I am working my behind off tutoring and writing advertising posts for my other blog. The blogging income is at about $1000 a month, which is awesome. The tutoring is at $400. So this means that theoretically, I could have almost 17K saved by the end of next year, plus whatever I get back in taxes. Of course, I’d better start figuring out deductions for that writing money!

It is easier for me to save when I have a goal. Right now, the goal is having a house of my own again. I think it’s safe to say that I have consistently wanted a house for a while. Still, I can’t help the little thoughts that say, “But you could take that writing income and go to Mexico….”. This interference could seriously interfere with my goal.

I don’t know how to get rid of the doubts. Life is good, but I always look for greener grass. I always have. I worry about the schools here, but they are worse in other places. I don’t like American culture, but it seems that many other countries have adopted it, so what the heck? And I really don’t like Middle-Eastern culture, so perhaps it isn’t so bad, really.

I’m rambling. Maybe it’s the migraine. I still have the stupid thing.

Photo by r.ing

The last time I had a migraine with an aura, I thought I was seeing angels. How else to explain the twinkling lights around me? This time, I was sitting at a table with my students, facing a window. It was like the light was coming through fragmented glass. I inexplicably felt like I needed a pair of sunglasses. If you don’t know that you are about to get a migraine, it is a strange experience. Well, it’s strange anyway.

About half an hour after the whole thing with the lights, my students were in the other room and I was trying to send an email. My right hand would barely work. I thought “stroke?”, but I could make it work, with effort. After about half an hour, that feeling went away. Then the headache kicked in. I have felt like I have knives sticking in my right eye for a day now. Advil and Tylenol doesn’t make a dent in it. Still, I can’t just sit around in the dark, because then the pain seems even worse, since I’m focusing on it. I’m just glad I’m not in that category of migraine suffers who throw up. Ick. That would suck.

I’ll be glad when it goes away!

I got tagged to do 7 Things by Ms. Teacher. It was perfect timing!

The rules are:

- Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
- Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself.
- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 Things About Michelle

1. I am obsessed with houses. I check out Realtor.com on almost a daily basis. I’m saving up for a down payment on something. I can’t decide between building my own cob house and having a garden and chickens or getting a chic town home with nice molding and granite countertops. It must be the split personality.

2. I can talk in a really deep voice. It freaks people out. It probably sounds like I’m possessed. So far, I haven’t done it to my students. I’m tempted.

3. I can’t seem to do anything without thinking about how it might make me money. This takes the fun out of some things. I wish I knew how to play.

4. When I decide I don’t like someone, I’d just as soon never lay eyes on them again. It is hard for me to fake nicey-nice in social situations. I get this from my mom.

5. I want to write hi/lo books for Hispanic teens. I joined a writing group that will keep me accountable as far as this particular goal is concerned. Perhaps Illegal will be published someday!

6. I really can’t stand television. I don’t have one, and I’m appalled whenever I see the one at the gym. I really think television is making people stupid and destroying creativity.

7. I like bluegrass music, and am comfortable in overalls chewing on a weed. Most people would be aghast to know this.

I’m not tagging anyone, but whoever wants to do it, please feel free!