So I have this kid in class who, when talking about ethnic strife over religious differences, announces that he is going to hell. When I asked why he believed that, he told me that he thought the Pope was just some dude, and not really given power by God. I suppose this is heresy in the Catholic Church. What power they have, as well as many other churches.

He asked me if I believed in evolution. I answered in the affirmative.

“How can you believe in evolution when the Bible said that we were created in seven days?”

I got into my explaination that time is something that man could have invented and that perhaps God would see time in a different matter. He asked if people could change time now. I said, “Sure, let’s make a minute an hour and all go home!”

It’s weird talking about this stuff with students. I don’t feel comfortable either talking about it or not. I’m always careful to emphasize that what I say are my views, and that they are to come to their own conclusions. Probably the thing I said about time was the most radical thing they’ve heard in a while. It is odd teaching about ethnic religious conflict in an area where there are some pretty extreme Christian views. Strangely, it helped them to relate.

It was interesting.

I finally made some. I signed a six-month lease rather than a year-long one, after agonizing over it for more than a month. Having options is good.

I left for work today, and I wanted to cry walking out the door. I thought about how many times I’ve been miserable with our public education system, and decided to give my self the option of quitting or taking leave. I spoke with my principal, and I think I can make it until next year, when Mr. Sir is gone.

The kids told me that Mr. Sir talked trash about me while I was gone the last two days. There is nothing I can do about it, as he is too crusty for mediation. It doesn’t matter anyway, because it doesn’t hurt me at all with the kids, it just makes him look stupid.

My principal said that the other teacher and I can interview his replacement. I can’t wait.

Things are not going well at work. Here’s a few things I’ve been told lately by my principal, who for some reason, listens to Mr. Sir. Weird.

“The kids have to go back to a regular classroom at the school with teachers who may not want them there. If there is too big of a difference between your relationship with the kids and the relationship they will have with that person, then they will want to come back and that makes us look bad.”

“The kids should not be eating lunch with you. They should be in their cubicles.”

“If you run things differently from the other teachers, then that makes it harder for the other teachers because the kids can’t adjust.”

I hope the kids never adjust to being treated like crap. Healthy people don’t accept that. I can’t even write about the other things right now. I am really mad.

I think I need to face the fact that public education is not for me. I don’t think I will ever be able to “toe the line”. I sure do love teaching, though.

I just found the book, Blue Rage, Black Redemption at my local library. I am bringing it to school. It’s the story of Tookie Williams, the guy who founded the Crips. He was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize before being put to death. I’m not sure about the whole thing. The guy unleashed some hell on this entire country that my students still pay for. Glancing through his book, I see that he makes some good points, but of course I wonder how sincere it all is when one of the people endorsing the book is Snoop Dogg. Pleeeeze. Of course Bishop Desmond Tutu and Jessie Jackson also endorse it, but I’ll have to read it and see for myself. I’m sure the kids will be facinated, though.

Things are jacked up at work right now. The Nazi-teachers want everything to be very controlled and punishing and my principal finally listened to them and told me to “tighten things up” because “the kids don’t like the other teachers” due to us “not being on the same page”. I told her that I didn’t want to work in a prison and spent the rest of the day home crying. Literally. Like 5 hours of crying. Nice adaptive behavior there, huh? I’ve been doing this crying crap for a month now, and it’s getting old. I don’t know what’s going on. I know I don’t like living here (but feel trapped), but I’m not that big of a crier. Weird.

After I talked to her for a while on the phone this afternoon, she came around some. I don’t think she knows how to handle such a diverse staff. It’s got to be really hard.

I just wish I could teach for a change. One of the teachers upstairs is teaching Sociology and I am so jealous. That’s what my degree is in. I just don’t know anymore….