I just stopped by Margaret’s and read about how her college daughter might be taking the wrong classes, and I’ll be petty and admit it: I’m jealous. I’m also asking myself what she did as a parent that I didn’t.
Right now, Sky seems determined not to find a job in Portland. I don’t buy that there “aren’t any.” Bullshit. He didn’t take much with him when he went, and now he tells me that he is cutting down on his possessions so that they “will fit in one bag.”
I swear, this kid seems bent on becoming homeless. He doesn’t see it as a BAD thing, he seems to think it is COOL.
He has done so many hallucinagins that he either is having frequent flashbacks or is developing schizophrenia. He told me about his hallucinations and so on after I told him about my brother and the hell he is going through with schizophrenia. He thinks alternate versions of reality are fine, and I think, “Shit, I have had way too many philosophical discussions with this child, when I should have been…I dunno–beating some sense into his head?”
I am worried about him. That is an understatement, actually. I am angry, too.
My brother comes home (to my parent’s house) today from the psychiatric hospital. The insurance ran out. He is not entirely stabilized, although my parents say they don’t think there is a danger at this point. I will have to “babysit” so that my parents can get out of the house. I’m not looking forward to that, because my 6’10″ brother out of his mind scares me.
I feel like I am always on the verge of crying, at least when I let myself remember that these things are happening.
I don’t even know what to say but I wanted you to know you did nothing wrong as a parent. You did the best you could (which I think was pretty darn good) and people are just different. You could have been the perfect Leave it to Beaver mom and he still would do what he wants…that’s just the way some people are. If it gives you any hope my little brother was a mess as a pre-teen, ten and young adult. When he got close to 30 he finally woke up and realized he should have gone to school, etc. He graduated at 33 and has a good job now and is doing well. Hang in there. You can only do so much and the rest is up to Him and them. Hugs to you!
The answer is: I have no clue! We have girls, which may make a difference, who knows? As parents, we do what we think is right all the way along and hope for the best. In many cases, it’s just a crap shoot. It sounds like Sky is going to have to hit bottom before he realizes that that isn’t where he wants to be. Excruciating as a parent. 6’10″–holy cow, that would scare me too!!
Margaret’s last blog post..Wacky flowers
It’s okay to feel envious. When I read the blogs of other people who share that their children are leading “normal” lives, going to college, and the like, I also have those pangs of envy. I keep hoping that my daughter will find her path (she turns 20 today) and there will be a day where I don’t have to worry so much about her. I’m not sure that day will ever come.
I know that I made mistakes over the years in raising of my kids. I also know that for the most part, my intentions were good and I tried my best. Hopefully, they’ll realize that, just as I did with my own parents.
ms_teacher’s last blog post..Artist Girl Turns 20
Ultimately, adults are responsible for their own lives, as much as that may suck for those that love and care for them.
Pacian’s last blog post..Friday Radio Guy on Skis Blogging
Pacian is right. Unfortunately, adults are responsible for their own lives.
But then again, to many parents, their own children never really become adults in their eyes entirely. Just stating that as a fact. It’s not necessarily a good or bad thing.
Kelvin Kao’s last blog post..Forget Citigroup, Puppet Show Needs a Bailout
Oh Michelle, what a tough road. I know it well. My brother is bi-polar with paranoid schizophrenic episodes. (You and I have way too many things in common!)
I hope Sky keeps safe while figuring things out. I still haven’t heard from Ben since he left treatment … so tough.
Wish we lived closer so we could sit and commiserate.
Hang in there.
Love,
Deb
JanePoet ~ JP/deb’s last blog post..Tradition